How I felt last night

Quiet evening. I felt quite OK, just tired but steamed some veggies and a barbequed buffalo burger pattie. I was a bit bummed as I had a feeling that two of my best buddies got together for dins, where I'm almost always a participator in the trio. Didn't get a call... I called one of them and he wasn't home so I figured he was at the other friends place, but I didn't call. I would have gone if invited but I wasn't going to invite myself. Later I got a call from the one whom I had called earlier and he said "Yup, just came back from Dins over at so and so's. We didn't call you because we figured you'd either be with your brother or you would be sick..." I said, no I was just here all afternoon and evening watching the Olympics.

I don't know, I won't get all choked up about it. But I just felt like this is the beginning of my friends not inviting me anymore, because I'm not participatory in drinking the fine wines we usually enjoy and maybe I'm just a bump on the log. I've seen it happen to other people where their friends don't understand and or are uncomfortable with the constant sick friend. I'm probably over reacting but I feel a bit depressed about the whole thing, my situation, my friends, my life.

Last night just before 11pm I took some of this cholestyramine powder with chicken noodle soup. Started on a reply email to a friend and... wham at 11:30ish I felt like I was suddenly going to pass out. Fainting sensation, body numbness, heart discomfort, tingling face, felt cold, then came a headache. I grabbed the phone as I thought I was heading in a direction of needing help. How much longer can I hang on, is this going to get worse. Can't call the folks, my brother and his kids are there, I'll wake them all. I can't drive there because I'm fighting for consciousness. I was writhing around in bed just holding on. Oh my I was feeling so sick I wanted to throw up. My day of herbal supplements, parasite killing natural remedies, two intense morning oral antibiotics. With an IV antibiotic at noon, followed by all the same stuff I had for breakfast now with dinner. It sure all caught up with me during that midnight hour. I writhed around in such duress, just trying to relax and hold on for the ride until it ends. Fortunately this little piece of hell lasted, I figure, about 90 minutes when I finally was calm enough to drift off to sleep.